Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Randomize
