I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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