This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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