sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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