omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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