Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You can't special order awesome
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
