i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
