I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
