just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
