You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
