Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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