I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
