Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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