That's intense
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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