So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
