please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
