Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
