come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
