Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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