If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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