I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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