I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
