i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize