I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
