That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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