so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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