she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
