So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am naked and annoyed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
