I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize