I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
