i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize