he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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