just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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