well most of my day revolves around power hour
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
