She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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