you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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