I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
