Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
