she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
