just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
