would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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