I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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