Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
