i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
