I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
