OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
