I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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