Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i love accidental penises.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
