Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
