Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
