Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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