I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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