he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
