I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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