Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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