According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
