he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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