I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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