so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
