So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
