Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
