She's JV to your varsity
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
