Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize